reflections on life.

My "Little" for CSA (Catholic Student Association) is also one of my friends who lived on my floor last year. She was talking to me on Monday when I was at Primo about how one of her close friends committed suicide a few days before. I didn't know what to say, but I wrote down some stuff after we talked briefly and I showed it to her. She said this was exactly what she needed, so I thought I'd share it! Let me know what you think!


Life is a beautiful, beautiful gift. Sometimes people take full advantage of it, sometimes people throw it away. In my opinion, a lot of people who appear to throw away this precious gift were simply led astray and had blinders on that prevented them from seeing the wonderful blessings surrounding them. These people, no matter how far they have strayed, they are loved. Loved immensely. Love is stronger than anything. The phrase "omnia vincit amor" has been around for quite literally centuries and still stands true--love conquers all. Love conquers sadness. Love conquers weakness. Love conquers anger. Love conquers fear. Love conquers persecution. Love conquers loneliness. LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

visiting the Ville? Louisville, that is!

Bellarmine University, my college, is in the heart of Louisville, Kentucky. say it with me: LOO-UH-VUL. now speed it up and slur it together a bit. Yes, I immediately thought, "Oh my gosh I can't believe I'm going to school in Kentucky. Kentucky is for hicks!" But here I am and I LOVE IT. Louisville isn't where the hicks are--I'm not gonna lie, there are some hicks who go here and I do know the areas of Kentucky where Kentucky gets it's redneck reputation from. Regardless, Louisville is a great, redneck-less city!

food:
-Impellizzeri's Pizza. GET THE MARGHERITA PIZZA AND BREADSTIX. so good. oh yeah and they sponsor Bellarmine basketball  :)
-Mulligan's Pub and Grille. awesome pub-style food, alcohol, and music--my friends' band plays there fairly often!
-Marketplace Restaurant. I think it's inexpensive for how decadent the food is and the inside is absolutely gorgeous.
-Twig and Leaf. really cheap (perfect for the college student!) and really yummy. huge portions.
-Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen. so so so so delicious. they serve meals, too, in addition to pie and ice cream!

you should check out:
-The Waterfront. gorgeous and they host WorldFest there in the fall!  :)
-BU! there's always something going on and it's a gorgeous campus, too!
-sports games. U of L, BU, any. all equally fun!
-BU's India Day in the fall! tons of entertainment and yummy free food!
-Louisville Zoo. literally down the street from BU. it rocks!
-Muhammad Ali Museum. we went there during orientation (Knight Life) and it was actually really neat!
-Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts. I saw "Avenue Q" with my Music in Louisville class last fall. really gorgeous. can be pricey depending on what you see!
-Expo Five. cheap concerts. used to be an airplane hangar. majorly sketchy though. I saw Owl City (with Days Difference, who I'd seen before, as the opening band) last year for only $15!
-Alpine Ice Arena. CSA went there last year and it was ton of fun! we saw a U of L hockey game too!

ice skating at Alpine Ice Arena with CSA!

Louie playing keyboard at Mulligan's Pub and Grille

spaghetti at Marketplace Restaurant

Abe Lincoln and the Pennies performing at Mulligan's Pub and Grille

Liz and I at a Cards game

Regina, Karen (chapel choir director), me, and Becca in our saris for India Day

Bellarmine's Horrigan Hall at night!

KDF internship!

Hey y'all! Sorry it's been SO INSANELY LONG since I've posted!!!! Anyways......I'm at my internship right now (don't worry I won't get in trouble for this--my job is social media and I can basically do anything that helps get the name out there). My internship is with the communications department for the Kentucky Derby Festival, which is essentially the organization that puts together all of the Kentucky Derby events except for, well, the Derby race itself. But we put on the Steamboat Race, Derby Chili Challenge (it's the first year of it!), Thunder Over Louisville, Bed Races, BalloonFest, Celebrity Day at the Downs, the Pegasus Parade, etc! So yeah   :)  Anyways, here are some pics to catch you up!

all ready for my first day! Starbucks PSL, Starbucks lemon loaf, beef pot roast microwaveable lunch,  planner, fully organized binder, tons of pens/pencils/highlighters, and my Derby hat wallet from Cha   :)

the "view" from my window...at least I have a window, unlike all my other nonexistent fellow interns

my office, er, cubicle!

here's hoping they get in touch and we can work it out!

inundated with Derby Chili Challenge recipe submissions! gah!

freshman.

so i'm officially done with freshman year of college! YAYYYY!!! woo-hoo! it was a bittersweet goodbye. it'll be weird not seeing my hallmates and classmates everyday. i already miss my Quarto study buddies. i already miss CSA. i already miss my freakin psycho roomie. i already miss my friends. i already miss Bellarmine. it's just weird thinking that the next time i go there will be in august. august as in like four-months-away-from-now august.

anyways. here's a photo summary of freshman year! woo-hoo!

 

homecoming!

in free time: come to the terms with the fact that "free time" is completely and entirely nonexistent. the sad truth.

spinach-mozzarella-salami paninis made with a previously-unused clothing iron! seriously amazingly delicious!

ALLLL of my stuff that i had to have packed up at the end of the year!

henna for india day

abe lincoln and the pennies (a band that two of my friends are in--louie sings, plays keyboard, and plays harmonica; jb who you can't really see in this pic plays drums and sings) performing at mulligan's irish pub on a weekend

a seriously beautiful plant at joe creason park right across from bellarmine

becky, aaron, megan, becca, and i volunteered to sing and play instruments at a walk to cure leukemia

just part of my ridiculously stuffed (inside and outside) wardrobe

me, katie, aaron, and father john at the fall late knight breakfast (knight, get it?! GET IT?!)

me and kaylyn with jeremy, the lead singer of the band days difference...they opened for owl city!

india day

the chicks of cabin 24 at the fall kcsc retreat

becky, regina, liz, and me at a bu vs. nku bball game

me, liz, and amanda at a choir event thingie...we sang at late knight breakfast!

agape. eros. philia.

congrats! you've just learned three ways to say "love" in Greek! while they all translate to "love," they are all different kinds of love.

agape is the love of the spirit. it's the love from God to us and vice verse. it's also the true lasting love. essentially it's the kind that we all want to say we have. so one might say "I want to agape God."

eros is passionate love. not just sexually, either. although you will notice that eros sounds like erotic, so voila. sometimes people think this is what they feel when they first meet someone they like, but personally i think that's just desire. it's a tricky difference between the two.

philia is the basic form of love. it's what we use when saying we love our parents, siblings, friends, and pets. it's also what we use when we say "I LOVE this song!" or "I LOVE Jeep Wranglers" (which are undoubtably my favorite models of cars--Wranglers for the win!). it's kinda just tossed around. i'm guilty of it. i don't really want to be. i've tried to stop saying things like i mentioned above, and instead change them to "this song rocks!" or "Jeep Wranglers are the best!" but i suppose it's kinda just part of our culture to throw it around like it means nothing. when in reality, love is HUGE.

now that you've learned the three primary forms of "love," it's time for my reflection. woo-hoo! bear with me--it gets interesting, i promise!

i've realized a trend in my life thus far: a bunch of the people i've gotten really close to have ended up walking a different path than the one i'm on. it's a tough reality. my best friend (who i don't even think i can call my best friend or even a good friend anymore) started completely ignoring me after i left for college. some of my exs have crushed me. it hurts. but to quote kelly clarkson, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" love that song! it's my bestie MC's and my song! unofficially? officially? idk anymore haha

anyways. i'm nervous. i've probably vented on here about how i've been struggling with purity in college. and because of these struggles, i'm terrified of having my purity destroyed and my heart tossed away again. i can't deal with that. i've had that happen too many times, and my heart can only go through that so many times.

but i'm also a huge flirt. so part of me blames myself for leading guys on perhaps? or like making them think i'm sexually active when i'm definitely not? idk how to describe it. maybe you get it. whatevs. anyways. i also want to stay a virgin til marriage. i'm almost certain that's a rare phenomenon nowadays because premarital sex is so rampant in our society. but i want to stay a virgin til marriage because i want to give my husband the ultimate gift of that. i want to give my full self to my future husband inside the beautiful sacrament of marriage. but i also don't wanna come right out and be like "so yeah i hope you're not expecting sex cuz that's not happening til marriage." cuz that MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT scare him and every other guy off haha so tips, ladies? and gents? thank you  :)

update-schmupdate.

so. it's been a while since I've blogged*. well, for me at least.  so it's updates time!!! and then it's blog-spree time! woo! prep up, chicks, prep up.

1. I. AM. FREAKING. DONE. WITH. FRESHMAN. YEAR. OF COLLEGE. WAIT WHAAAAAAAAT!? fo realzie though. I AM DONE.
2. see #1, above. HELLO, SOPHOMORE YEAR.

*written to myself since I'm basically positive that no one ever reads these things*

**letter to myself

so close yet so far.

I HAVE THREE CLASSES STANDING BETWEEN ME AND FINALS. AND THEN THREE (TECHNICALLY FOUR*) FINALS TIL SUMMAAAAAA!!!!! I leave at noon! woo! and ya know what I'm looking forward to most? possibly even more than summer? BEING DONE WITH MUSIC THEORY! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! GOODBYE, DANIEL FREAKIN LIGHT!!! WOO-HOO! ONE LAST CLASS WITH HIM (TOMORROW/TECHNICALLY TODAY IS MY LAST!)!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!

*my fourth final is expository writing, but all we have to do is say bye, so I kinda sorta don't count it as a final haha

mkay. the Full Throttle-induced hyperness of this blog post is done. happy day  :)

ladies, gather 'round.

so like probably two or so weeks ago, my old friend Cha and i were texting. we talked about like everything under the sun. somehow we got to talking about boys. ah, yes, the inevitable topic. she asked me if i was still dating rg. i was like "technically yeah, but i'm dumping him asap cuz he's a douche" and she was like "ah okay"--totally understanding haha. anyways...so we started talking about what girls want in guys. it's not that complex, guys! we don't want a freakin prince charming! (yes, that'd be nice, but we're quite honestly accepting of the fact that the chance of having THE perfect guy is incredibly slim to none). I just want a nice guy who's Catholic (or at least Christian but is open to my being Catholic and raising kids in the Catholic faith), thoughtful, loves us for who we are! THAT'S IT. being smart would be a plus. being funny would be a plus. being shemar moore-dennis quaid-zac efron-ryan gosling-fill in the blank here-hott would be a plus. BUT THOSE AREN'T NECESSARY!

*sigh*

it's not like we have a huge list of things that a guy has to meet and if the guy doesn't meet the criteria then too bad! seriously!

• thoughtful
• loving
• kind
• Catholic/Christian

and if all else fails, remember: I learned love from God* and so should men. may everyone be a reflection of Christ and His Love.

*stolen from my beautiful and brilliant cousin Emmie*

there's no freakin' way

i'm finished with freshman year of college! mkay, well, not quite. ONE MONTH TIL I'M HOME. like exactly. and one day less than a month if my corrections professor decides to move our final up to the last week of class! WOO!!!!! and then sophomore year! it's craziness. pure insanity, i tell you.

so, to the incredibly few people out there who read this blog, i'm taking the following courses next semester!   :D

monday
9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker
1:30-2:45--engl 200--reading lit--smock
6-8:45--idc 200--murder in america: fact and fiction--sutton

tuesday
8-8:50--comm 120--grammar and editing--henson
1:40-2:55--comm 103--intro to public speaking--fogle
3:30-4:30--muse 113--college singers--glasscock
6-8--chem 109--liberal arts chem--smith

wednesday
9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker

1:30-2:45--engl 200--reading lit--smock

thursday

1:40-2:55--comm 103--intro to public speaking--fogle

3:30-4:30--muse 113--college singers--glasscock

6-8--chem 109l--liberal arts chem lab--smith

friday

9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker

sunday

?--muse 123--chapel music--glasscock

in total, i have 18 credits! woo!

HAPPY HOLY WEEK!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY WEEK IS WITHOUT A DOUBT MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE WEEK OF THE YEAR!!! GO HOLY WEEK!!!! it's amazing. like seriously it's got all of the most inspirational things jam-packed into seven days. incredible. for those of you non-Catholics, Holy Week is the last week of Lent and the week right before Easter.

there are four awesome holidays within Holy Week.

Sunday=Palm Sunday (aka Passion Sunday)
Thursday=Maundy Thursday (more commonly known as Holy Thursday)
Friday=Good Friday
Saturday=Holy Saturday

mkay so some of the names are pretty lame, huh? too dang bad cuz the names don't represent at all the awesomeness of these holidays and this time of the year!!!! so here's the quickie low-down on how these four holidays are celebrated in the [Catholic] Church:

Palm Sunday / Passion Sunday

• before Mass (typically outside of the worship space--like in the Narthex) there is a blessing of palm leaves (ya know, like from those pretty palm trees that remind us of Hilton Head and Florida and the South as a whole!)
• Gospel reading of how Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and people placed palm leaves on the ground in front of Him
• then people enter into the church and Mass continues with a reading of the Passion of Christ (basically the story of Jesus' capture, trial, sufferings, and eventual death on the cross at Calvary)

Maundy Thursday / Holy Thursday

• the private celebration of the Mass is forbidden. sorry, but I can't explain this   :'(
• BUT NEVER FEAR!!! the only Mass that IS allowed is the evening Mass of the Lord's Supper! it basically starts up the rest of Holy Week   :)   as one might guess from the title "Mass of the Lord's Supper," this Mass celebrates Jesus' last supper. He celebrated it with His twelve apostles. this is when the whole Communion thing came into play. "this is My Body which is given up for you" and "this is My Blood which is given up for you."
• after the Homily during Mass, the priest typically washes the feet of twelve men because Jesus washed the feet of His twelve apostles

Good Friday

• fast day. meaning we only eat one full meal, and a maximum of two snacks (that together do not equal a full meal) if absolutely necessary...aka you only have those two snacks if you feel like you're going to keel over if you don't satisfy your tummy
• the Passion is typically read or sung
• readings and meditations are offered for personal reflection
• not a Mass. like on Maundy Thursday/Holy Thursday, Mass is forbidden. again, sorry but I can't explain this   :(

Holy Saturday

• again, no Mass.  :'(
• BUT AGAIN, TAKE A BREATH BECAUSE ONCE SUNDOWN HITS ON WHAT IS TECHNICALLY HOLY SATURDAY, MASS CAN BE CELEBRATED AGAIN! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

AND THEN IT'S EASTER SUNDAY! WOO! YEAH JESUS' RESURRECTION!!!!

gah.

life is confusing, so here is a testament to that. let's just do a little timeline thingie showing how this is so. and mind you, this is only having to do with college academics-wise. so if you think this is confusing, just look at how the rest of life is and/or can be!

august 2011: ah, the beginning of freshman year. major: elementary education and special elementary. dual degree program.

september 2011: added a music minor to my elementary education and special education dual majors.

october 2011: switched major to theology, kept music minor. convinced i was transferring to franciscan university of steubenville in the fall.

december 2011: still a theology major, did away with music minor. couldn't decide if i wanted to leave bellarmine or not.

january 2012: now a theology major with a criminal justice minor. accepted to franciscan, still split.

and now i'm about to add a communications major.

woo! so that's FIVE MAJORS/MINORS-WISE CHANGES total in SIX MONTHS. SIX CHANGES if you include me adding my comm major!

and on ash wednesday (feb 22nd, 2012), the final date to decide if i was staying or not, aaron convinced me to stay. so kudos to you, aaron! ku. dos. :)

OH WAIT. CURVEBALL TIME. HOLD THE PHONE. THIS FREAKIN CRAZY ROAD'S NOT OVER. i mean, i guess technically it'll never be over, but this post isn't done yet!

NOW I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT LAW SCHOOL. yes, this girl who hasn't exactly enjoyed going to school for the past 13 years (friends at school = good. clubs and sports at school = good. classes = BAD.), is thinking about going to school for at least 3 MORE years. so yes, including kindergarten, i will have gone to school for TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS. TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS. right now i'm eighteen. TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS OF SCHOOL. OY VEY. but i guess if i like it, then i should do it, right? anyways, i'm looking at law school because i've always enjoyed watching law and order type shows and arguing (although i probably am not the best debater in the world. BY ANY MEANS. i'm pretty irrational and emotional--i'll need to work on both of those if i become a lawyer!). but yeah :) i figure that it's basically the only thing out there that'll combine my areas of study (theology, communications, and criminal justice). like i could be a court-appointed public defender or pro bono lawyer (basically lawyers who represents people who can't afford to get their own lawyer). that'd be so tight.

so whilst deciding about if i should even continue looking at law schools, i've decided it'd be a good idea to read up on law stuff. not like big thick complicated law books like i guess i'd have to if i entered law school, but like law fiction (to kill a mockingbird-style--but i read that in junior year of high school for fun. yes, i just said/wrote/whatevs that i read to kill a mockingbird for fun. nerd girl is in the building/computer screen. deal with it). so i went to the bellarmine library in search of some pretty chill law books. and yes, i did just say/write/whatevs pretty chill law books. i do realize that chill and law should never together. but TOO DANG BAD. anyways, i'm ranting. you love me though   :)

so i hit up the library and got three books. law 101: everything you need to know about the american legal system (by jay m. feinman), a student's guide to the study of law (by gerard v. bradley), and crime and punishment (by fyodor dostoyevsky--crazy name, i know. he was russian, in case you can't tell!). i was and am going through a nerd phase, clearly.

i finished a student's guide to the study of law in like 2 days haha (it was really good! plus it was just a pretty short/quick read. i read it while working out--like on the recumbent bike--so i got a ton of it read that way). and i'm on page 23 of 348 pages of law 101: everything you need to know about the american legal system. so this one's obviously taking more time. it's definitely a thicker book plus it has physically larger pages and smaller print so this one'll take me a while. but the good news is that i have this and crime and punishment til april 17th (also my mommy's bday!) and then i can still renew them! i'll get them done eventually!

so yeah that's OFFICIALLY where i am right now! woo! go law school!

girl crush of the century: Jillian Michaels

I LOVE THIS WOMAN TO DEATH. You probably know her from The Biggest Loser--that's where I first heard of her. Sadly, she's not on there anymore :( BUT she has this totally epic line of products out there! Like weights, protein powder, DVDs, etc! I just bought her 6 Week Six Pack DVD and I'm about to start it! (like literally, it's in the DVD player in my dorm right now just waiting for me to press the "workouts" button)! I'M SO EXCITED. Jillian is super motivating. Like she's the kind of chick you don't wanna mess with cuz she'll kick your ass. She'll yell at you and force you to do laps if you talk back. No joke. If that doesn't motivate you, then I don't know what will. I know in high school I'd literally ask my tennis coaches to yell at me because then I'd feel even worse about disappointing them by playing badly. And their yelling would repeat in my head so I'd end up kicking the opponent's ass. NO LIE. Anyways, time to get a six-pack! WOO!


added later: JILLIAN IS BACK ON BIGGEST LOSER! YAYYYY!

health kick!

So it's workout time! I'm on a health kick! I've been eating healthier! I've been working out at the SuRF (Sports, Recreation, and Fitness center--the "u" is pointless. it's just there to make a word) almost every day for like 2 weeks. Like I even have a workout log. So here it is! Oh, one last thing...for example, I say "10 min. treadmill" three times so in the end, it equals 30 minutes, but it's split up.

10 min. treadmill
10 min. treadmill
10 min. treadmill
30 sec. wall sit
30 sec. wall sit
30 sec. wall sit
15 crunches
15 crunches
30 alternating crunches (total)
30 alternating crunches (total)
10 min. elliptical
10 min. elliptical
10 min. elliptical
30 lunges
30 lunges
30 backwards lunges
30 backwards lunges
30 burpees (squat down low then jump up high)
30 burpees
10 min. bike
10 min. bike
10 min. bike
5 min. jump rope
5 min. jump rope
15 bicep curls: right arm (6 lb. weight)
15 bicep curls: right arm (6 lb. weight)
15 bicep curls: left arm (6 lb. weight)
15 bicep curls: left arm (6 lb. weight)
30 high knees
30 high knees
30 fence total (pretend like I'm stepping over a fence, then crouch down low)
30 fence total
30 sec. "Jesus" (stand up with arms straight out to the sides...like a cross)
30 sec. "Jesus"
30 sec. weighted circling "Jesus" (same thing as "Jesus" [described above] except you hold 4 lb. weights and circle them in small circles slowly)
30 sec. weighted circling "Jesus"
30 sec. backwards weighted circling "Jesus"
30 sec. backwards weighted circling "Jesus"
30 sec. quick feet
30 sec. quick feet

news!

So I went on the spring KCSC retreat this past weekend!

KCSC stands for Kentucky Catholic Student Coalition. Basically it's the Kentucky branch of Catholic college students! So yeah KCSC puts on 2 retreats each year, and then a summer shindig which is basically a summer party!

Anyways, it was only my second KCSC retreat (my first was in the fall), but I was elected to be a Bellarmine co-liaison with Anna! So basically my duties include planning the fall and spring retreats, communicating with the officers (president, vice president, secretary, public relations, webmaster, treasurer, and retreat director), relaying information back to Bellarmine, and recruiting people to come on the retreat! It should be super fun! We have our leadership retreat on May 4th and then a planning meeting/retreat thingie August 10th and 11th! I'm so pumped! So yeah :)

that time of the year again.

As the title might suggest, it's that time of the year again. But that's pretty vague. I mean, really. What exactly is it the time of the year for? Ah, I know! LENT. To put it simply, Lent is a Christian holiday that runs from Ash Wednesday til Easter Sunday. Well, technically the last day of Lent is the day before Easter Sunday (Holy Saturday). It's 40 days (not including Sundays) that represents the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert fasting, as well as the 40 years that the Israelites spent roaming in the desert before entering the Holy Land.

Essentially, Lent is all about fasting and prayer. Long ago, the fasting meant literally fasting--as in giving up/limiting food. Nowadays it can be fasting anything. For example, this year I'm giving up Facebook and Twitter. Sometimes people choose to [also] add in other things [that help them grow closer to Christ]. In addition to giving up Facebook and Twitter, I'm also going to go to the chapel daily, pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and pray/sing St. Alphonsus Liguori's version of the Stations of the Cross--Mary's Way of the Cross. Giving up Facebook and Twitter could quite possibly kill me. In the 4+ hours that Lent has been going on, I've already thought of like probably 20 things I wanted to Facebook/Tweet and then I realize that I can't Facebook/tweet because I gave up both. SO PATHETIC, RIGHT!? How much we rely on social media and technology as a whole!? Lent really puts things in perspective.

Roman Catholics (like myself) and possibly other Christian religions (I'm not certain on this) give up meat on Fridays as well. Fish fries are very popular on Fridays for this reason. We don't eat meat on Fridays to commemorate Jesus' sacrifice (which occurred on what we now call Good Friday) by giving up a worldly pleasure. Meat is a worldly pleasure. I don't really know if that's a good description but oh well. It's 4:37 right now and I can't sleep so that's what you get! haha

happy Lent and I'm sure I'll be venting about my Lenten struggles on here since I can't use Facebook or Twitter! haha

Emmie's wedding

So Em (my favorite cousin in the whole wide world who will be my maid of honor!) is in the same boat as I am: she's not engaged either! Woo! Yay for premature wedding planning! So when she saw I had my whole wedding planned out practically, she asked me to do one for her with her theme. Whereas mine is floral, hers is the color scheme of brown, yellow, and cream! Super chic! Here goes, and wish me luck! :)

my stunningly gorgeous cousin, Em!

dress #1: elegant. simple. classy. (David's Bridal style SAS1200)

dress #2: different, but beautiful. (David's Bridal style 123014)

dress #3: Alfred Angelo. enough said. (Alfred Angelo style 1148)

3 cakes I found...I think they're all beautiful! I know Em specified chocolate cake, but I had to add in the one with the damask...too pretty to pass up!

pretty :)

and now for some random stuff...placeholders, favors, and even an invite! purdy :)












and for bridesmaids there are way too many options out there regarding length, etc...so here's a website hahaha SEE BRIDESMAID DRESSES HERE but I couldn't resist including a few samples! all of these are available in a ton of shades of yellows and a ton of shades of browns! oh, also, you can change the color of the sash and the dress on the first dress! :)