agape. eros. philia.

congrats! you've just learned three ways to say "love" in Greek! while they all translate to "love," they are all different kinds of love.

agape is the love of the spirit. it's the love from God to us and vice verse. it's also the true lasting love. essentially it's the kind that we all want to say we have. so one might say "I want to agape God."

eros is passionate love. not just sexually, either. although you will notice that eros sounds like erotic, so voila. sometimes people think this is what they feel when they first meet someone they like, but personally i think that's just desire. it's a tricky difference between the two.

philia is the basic form of love. it's what we use when saying we love our parents, siblings, friends, and pets. it's also what we use when we say "I LOVE this song!" or "I LOVE Jeep Wranglers" (which are undoubtably my favorite models of cars--Wranglers for the win!). it's kinda just tossed around. i'm guilty of it. i don't really want to be. i've tried to stop saying things like i mentioned above, and instead change them to "this song rocks!" or "Jeep Wranglers are the best!" but i suppose it's kinda just part of our culture to throw it around like it means nothing. when in reality, love is HUGE.

now that you've learned the three primary forms of "love," it's time for my reflection. woo-hoo! bear with me--it gets interesting, i promise!

i've realized a trend in my life thus far: a bunch of the people i've gotten really close to have ended up walking a different path than the one i'm on. it's a tough reality. my best friend (who i don't even think i can call my best friend or even a good friend anymore) started completely ignoring me after i left for college. some of my exs have crushed me. it hurts. but to quote kelly clarkson, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" love that song! it's my bestie MC's and my song! unofficially? officially? idk anymore haha

anyways. i'm nervous. i've probably vented on here about how i've been struggling with purity in college. and because of these struggles, i'm terrified of having my purity destroyed and my heart tossed away again. i can't deal with that. i've had that happen too many times, and my heart can only go through that so many times.

but i'm also a huge flirt. so part of me blames myself for leading guys on perhaps? or like making them think i'm sexually active when i'm definitely not? idk how to describe it. maybe you get it. whatevs. anyways. i also want to stay a virgin til marriage. i'm almost certain that's a rare phenomenon nowadays because premarital sex is so rampant in our society. but i want to stay a virgin til marriage because i want to give my husband the ultimate gift of that. i want to give my full self to my future husband inside the beautiful sacrament of marriage. but i also don't wanna come right out and be like "so yeah i hope you're not expecting sex cuz that's not happening til marriage." cuz that MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT scare him and every other guy off haha so tips, ladies? and gents? thank you  :)

update-schmupdate.

so. it's been a while since I've blogged*. well, for me at least.  so it's updates time!!! and then it's blog-spree time! woo! prep up, chicks, prep up.

1. I. AM. FREAKING. DONE. WITH. FRESHMAN. YEAR. OF COLLEGE. WAIT WHAAAAAAAAT!? fo realzie though. I AM DONE.
2. see #1, above. HELLO, SOPHOMORE YEAR.

*written to myself since I'm basically positive that no one ever reads these things*

**letter to myself

so close yet so far.

I HAVE THREE CLASSES STANDING BETWEEN ME AND FINALS. AND THEN THREE (TECHNICALLY FOUR*) FINALS TIL SUMMAAAAAA!!!!! I leave at noon! woo! and ya know what I'm looking forward to most? possibly even more than summer? BEING DONE WITH MUSIC THEORY! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! GOODBYE, DANIEL FREAKIN LIGHT!!! WOO-HOO! ONE LAST CLASS WITH HIM (TOMORROW/TECHNICALLY TODAY IS MY LAST!)!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!

*my fourth final is expository writing, but all we have to do is say bye, so I kinda sorta don't count it as a final haha

mkay. the Full Throttle-induced hyperness of this blog post is done. happy day  :)

ladies, gather 'round.

so like probably two or so weeks ago, my old friend Cha and i were texting. we talked about like everything under the sun. somehow we got to talking about boys. ah, yes, the inevitable topic. she asked me if i was still dating rg. i was like "technically yeah, but i'm dumping him asap cuz he's a douche" and she was like "ah okay"--totally understanding haha. anyways...so we started talking about what girls want in guys. it's not that complex, guys! we don't want a freakin prince charming! (yes, that'd be nice, but we're quite honestly accepting of the fact that the chance of having THE perfect guy is incredibly slim to none). I just want a nice guy who's Catholic (or at least Christian but is open to my being Catholic and raising kids in the Catholic faith), thoughtful, loves us for who we are! THAT'S IT. being smart would be a plus. being funny would be a plus. being shemar moore-dennis quaid-zac efron-ryan gosling-fill in the blank here-hott would be a plus. BUT THOSE AREN'T NECESSARY!

*sigh*

it's not like we have a huge list of things that a guy has to meet and if the guy doesn't meet the criteria then too bad! seriously!

• thoughtful
• loving
• kind
• Catholic/Christian

and if all else fails, remember: I learned love from God* and so should men. may everyone be a reflection of Christ and His Love.

*stolen from my beautiful and brilliant cousin Emmie*

there's no freakin' way

i'm finished with freshman year of college! mkay, well, not quite. ONE MONTH TIL I'M HOME. like exactly. and one day less than a month if my corrections professor decides to move our final up to the last week of class! WOO!!!!! and then sophomore year! it's craziness. pure insanity, i tell you.

so, to the incredibly few people out there who read this blog, i'm taking the following courses next semester!   :D

monday
9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker
1:30-2:45--engl 200--reading lit--smock
6-8:45--idc 200--murder in america: fact and fiction--sutton

tuesday
8-8:50--comm 120--grammar and editing--henson
1:40-2:55--comm 103--intro to public speaking--fogle
3:30-4:30--muse 113--college singers--glasscock
6-8--chem 109--liberal arts chem--smith

wednesday
9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker

1:30-2:45--engl 200--reading lit--smock

thursday

1:40-2:55--comm 103--intro to public speaking--fogle

3:30-4:30--muse 113--college singers--glasscock

6-8--chem 109l--liberal arts chem lab--smith

friday

9-9:50--theo 200--ultimate questions (basically theology)--becker

sunday

?--muse 123--chapel music--glasscock

in total, i have 18 credits! woo!

HAPPY HOLY WEEK!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY WEEK IS WITHOUT A DOUBT MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE WEEK OF THE YEAR!!! GO HOLY WEEK!!!! it's amazing. like seriously it's got all of the most inspirational things jam-packed into seven days. incredible. for those of you non-Catholics, Holy Week is the last week of Lent and the week right before Easter.

there are four awesome holidays within Holy Week.

Sunday=Palm Sunday (aka Passion Sunday)
Thursday=Maundy Thursday (more commonly known as Holy Thursday)
Friday=Good Friday
Saturday=Holy Saturday

mkay so some of the names are pretty lame, huh? too dang bad cuz the names don't represent at all the awesomeness of these holidays and this time of the year!!!! so here's the quickie low-down on how these four holidays are celebrated in the [Catholic] Church:

Palm Sunday / Passion Sunday

• before Mass (typically outside of the worship space--like in the Narthex) there is a blessing of palm leaves (ya know, like from those pretty palm trees that remind us of Hilton Head and Florida and the South as a whole!)
• Gospel reading of how Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and people placed palm leaves on the ground in front of Him
• then people enter into the church and Mass continues with a reading of the Passion of Christ (basically the story of Jesus' capture, trial, sufferings, and eventual death on the cross at Calvary)

Maundy Thursday / Holy Thursday

• the private celebration of the Mass is forbidden. sorry, but I can't explain this   :'(
• BUT NEVER FEAR!!! the only Mass that IS allowed is the evening Mass of the Lord's Supper! it basically starts up the rest of Holy Week   :)   as one might guess from the title "Mass of the Lord's Supper," this Mass celebrates Jesus' last supper. He celebrated it with His twelve apostles. this is when the whole Communion thing came into play. "this is My Body which is given up for you" and "this is My Blood which is given up for you."
• after the Homily during Mass, the priest typically washes the feet of twelve men because Jesus washed the feet of His twelve apostles

Good Friday

• fast day. meaning we only eat one full meal, and a maximum of two snacks (that together do not equal a full meal) if absolutely necessary...aka you only have those two snacks if you feel like you're going to keel over if you don't satisfy your tummy
• the Passion is typically read or sung
• readings and meditations are offered for personal reflection
• not a Mass. like on Maundy Thursday/Holy Thursday, Mass is forbidden. again, sorry but I can't explain this   :(

Holy Saturday

• again, no Mass.  :'(
• BUT AGAIN, TAKE A BREATH BECAUSE ONCE SUNDOWN HITS ON WHAT IS TECHNICALLY HOLY SATURDAY, MASS CAN BE CELEBRATED AGAIN! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

AND THEN IT'S EASTER SUNDAY! WOO! YEAH JESUS' RESURRECTION!!!!

gah.

life is confusing, so here is a testament to that. let's just do a little timeline thingie showing how this is so. and mind you, this is only having to do with college academics-wise. so if you think this is confusing, just look at how the rest of life is and/or can be!

august 2011: ah, the beginning of freshman year. major: elementary education and special elementary. dual degree program.

september 2011: added a music minor to my elementary education and special education dual majors.

october 2011: switched major to theology, kept music minor. convinced i was transferring to franciscan university of steubenville in the fall.

december 2011: still a theology major, did away with music minor. couldn't decide if i wanted to leave bellarmine or not.

january 2012: now a theology major with a criminal justice minor. accepted to franciscan, still split.

and now i'm about to add a communications major.

woo! so that's FIVE MAJORS/MINORS-WISE CHANGES total in SIX MONTHS. SIX CHANGES if you include me adding my comm major!

and on ash wednesday (feb 22nd, 2012), the final date to decide if i was staying or not, aaron convinced me to stay. so kudos to you, aaron! ku. dos. :)

OH WAIT. CURVEBALL TIME. HOLD THE PHONE. THIS FREAKIN CRAZY ROAD'S NOT OVER. i mean, i guess technically it'll never be over, but this post isn't done yet!

NOW I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT LAW SCHOOL. yes, this girl who hasn't exactly enjoyed going to school for the past 13 years (friends at school = good. clubs and sports at school = good. classes = BAD.), is thinking about going to school for at least 3 MORE years. so yes, including kindergarten, i will have gone to school for TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS. TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS. right now i'm eighteen. TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS OF SCHOOL. OY VEY. but i guess if i like it, then i should do it, right? anyways, i'm looking at law school because i've always enjoyed watching law and order type shows and arguing (although i probably am not the best debater in the world. BY ANY MEANS. i'm pretty irrational and emotional--i'll need to work on both of those if i become a lawyer!). but yeah :) i figure that it's basically the only thing out there that'll combine my areas of study (theology, communications, and criminal justice). like i could be a court-appointed public defender or pro bono lawyer (basically lawyers who represents people who can't afford to get their own lawyer). that'd be so tight.

so whilst deciding about if i should even continue looking at law schools, i've decided it'd be a good idea to read up on law stuff. not like big thick complicated law books like i guess i'd have to if i entered law school, but like law fiction (to kill a mockingbird-style--but i read that in junior year of high school for fun. yes, i just said/wrote/whatevs that i read to kill a mockingbird for fun. nerd girl is in the building/computer screen. deal with it). so i went to the bellarmine library in search of some pretty chill law books. and yes, i did just say/write/whatevs pretty chill law books. i do realize that chill and law should never together. but TOO DANG BAD. anyways, i'm ranting. you love me though   :)

so i hit up the library and got three books. law 101: everything you need to know about the american legal system (by jay m. feinman), a student's guide to the study of law (by gerard v. bradley), and crime and punishment (by fyodor dostoyevsky--crazy name, i know. he was russian, in case you can't tell!). i was and am going through a nerd phase, clearly.

i finished a student's guide to the study of law in like 2 days haha (it was really good! plus it was just a pretty short/quick read. i read it while working out--like on the recumbent bike--so i got a ton of it read that way). and i'm on page 23 of 348 pages of law 101: everything you need to know about the american legal system. so this one's obviously taking more time. it's definitely a thicker book plus it has physically larger pages and smaller print so this one'll take me a while. but the good news is that i have this and crime and punishment til april 17th (also my mommy's bday!) and then i can still renew them! i'll get them done eventually!

so yeah that's OFFICIALLY where i am right now! woo! go law school!